The Dog Ate My Resumé - Survival Tips for Life After College

ISBN: 9781891661372
$11.95 ©
Trade Paper
192 pages
5 1/2 x 8 1/2
Humor

Anyone who has ever graduated from college has faced the daunting question of "What am I going to do with my life?" A fortunate few know exactly what they want to do. Most of us don't have a clue.

In The Dog Ate My Resumé: Survival Tips for Life After College, Zack and Larry Arnstein offer comical commentary and tongue-in-cheek observations on how to:

Plunder Resources at Your University

Develop a Go-Getter Attitude! (Or at Least Fake One)

Be Fashionably Late for Job Interviews

Weigh the Pros and Cons of Living at Home! (Contains No Pros)

Bring an Abrupt End to Conversations About Your Future

The father-and-son writing team combines the naive lack of experience of a recent college graduate with the out-of-touch irrelevance of an aging graybeard. No, wait! Actually, the book combines the up-to-the-minute hip awareness of a certifiably youthful 23-year-old with the finely tuned wisdom of an experienced old person!

Making Your Major Your Springboard to the Future
Yes, you do have a major. Take as much time as you need to remember what it is. This is the field of study you have chosen for serious focus and concentration, so that you are now an expert. But what career path has your major prepared you for? (or if you're an English Major, what is the career path for which your Major has prepared you?) Here is a quick checklist, to acquaint you with some of the exciting possibilities:

Major/Career Opportunity Checklist

Major	Career Opportunity
Sociology & Religious Studies...................................	Waiter
Anthropology & Comparative Philopsophy................	Waiter
Algebraic Number Theory.........................................	Bartender
History......................................................................	Further study in another field
Chemical Engineering................................................	Shouldn't you already have a job?
English Literature......................................................	House sitter
Italian Literature........................................................	Pizza delivery
Ecology & Global Environment.................................	Telemarketer
Political Science........................................................	Volunteer
Psychology...............................................................	Fortune teller
Creative Writing........................................................	Parking Attendant
Women's Studies......................................................	Waitress

Of course, this is only a rough guideline. If, for example, you majored in Ecology & Global Environment, there's really no reason you can't aspire to become a House Sitter, even though that profession is more closely associated with English Lit majors.

Summary for Students:

Within any academic discipline, there are multiple career paths one may take. Except in Art History, where there are only two career paths: teaching and cleaning the floors in an art museum.

Summary for Parents:

You just sat there and watched while your child got a degree in Art History??

Zack Arnstein, after failing his first three driving tests, finally passed it at the age of 16 on his fourth try, making him one of the world's most distinguished experts on driving tests. He then went on to become an authority in the related fields of law enforcement and minor traffic accidents by collecting a variety of moving violations and "fender-benders" during his teenage years. He once worked as a driver for a Messenger Service where he bravely fought his way through rush hour traffic in Los Angeles, delivering crucial legal documents to hysterical lawyers. He is currently working on a doctorate in parking violations.

Larry Arnstein, after failing his first driving test, passed it at the age of 18 on his second try (as near as he can recall). He has also collected his share of moving violations and "fender-benders" during a driving career which included some years driving taxicabs in New York City and Berkeley, California, before he gave up honest employment to become a writer. Currently he is a model of safe driving techniques, but occasionally is subject to episodes of taxi driver flashback syndrome during which his driving is unpredictable.

"If the stress and disappointment of looking for a job make you want to quit, try a healthy dose of humor. Zack and Larry Arnstein's book is loaded with laugh-out-loud mock "Do's" to ease your way into the working world . . . The Dog Ate My Resume is great pick-me-up reading to remind yourself that while you may be occupationally challenged at the moment, you definitely are not a bum."
      —USA Today

"Along with jug chablis, pirated cable, and a big spattering pot of lentil soup, The Dog Ate My Resumé is a must have for all under-employed 21-year-olds! (Or 32-year-olds, depending on how much time you wasted while trying to graduate college.) A hilarious and fast read."
—SANDRA TSING LOH, author and NPR commentator

"This is such a useful and hilarious book, it made me want to go back to college again! If only I had a father like Larry Arnstein to pay my tuition...."
     —MARVIN KITMAN, media critic, Newsday

"Chock full of fun and friendly advice for the frazzled college grad.... Together, Zack and Larry Arnstein pool their resources and provide their readers with much needed advice, but also some much needed laughs in the face of highly stressful decisions....Offers true-to-life tips about the things college graduates want to know....The Dog Ate My Resume succeeds because it is both funny and helpful. This is the perfect gift for college graduates, as it gives a healthy dose of humor to save them from the impending nervous breakdown."
     —The Daily Vidette (Illinois State University)

"Finally, a book for those getting ready to go out in the so-called "real world." Yes, impending graduates, there is a book for you. The Dog Ate My Resume: Survival Tips for Life After College, written by father and son duo, Larry and Zack Arnstein, is a must-have for those preparing to ready themselves for the job market....The Dog Ate My Resume is a hilarious and often satirical take on a graduate's life. It'd make a perfect gift for that friend of yours graduating within the next few weeks, or just something silly to have out for coffee table material. Although lacking any "real world" value, the book is still "real" funny and can help take some of the edge off the stress of having to take that next big step in life."
      —The Daily O'Collegian (Oklahoma State University)

"A hilarious book that offers comical commentary and tongue-in-cheek observations on the painful and always awkward transition to life after college."
      —BG News (Bowling Green University)

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